Not Ready

I was talking to Lillie the other day.  I told her I don’t understand the purpose of life of someone whose mind is going.

Why is their spirit hanging on?  I know when Gpa is lucid, he is frustrated and talks about going crazy.

And then.

Lillie asked me if I was ready for Gpa to be gone.

Well, no.  I’m not.  No matter how hard it gets, no matter how mad he gets, I’m going to miss him when he is gone.  I remember who he was, I celebrate that time.  I also am learning to embrace who he is.  This time will be just a precious as any other phase we have gone through.

Last night Gena brought her dogs.  They are almost ponies.  She watched Gpa while I went out.

She said Missie gave him kisses.  I asked what he thought.  She said he laughed and leaned in to get more.

So glad we are creating memories for him, or more accurately events for him to participate in.

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