In Life First In is Not First Out

I’m sure I learned this when I was a kid with a pet.  However, it hit harder when my mom passed away before her dad, Gpa.

She passed away 2 months after my grandmother.  One had cancer and the other was fighting kidney failure.  Both were great examples of finding out what needs to be done next and doing it.  I don’t think I ever heard them complain.  Well, Mom said she cried when she found out she had kidney failure and I saw her cry when once again the tubing in her arm clogged up.  She told me she didn’t think she could do it (hemodialysis) any more.  Shortly afterwards, she died, and doesn’t have to do it any more.

We watched over Gpa for a while since the two most important people had left him.  His church had a grief recovery thing and he did it. Volunteered at the hospital where Gma died and found some things to look forward to in life.

Last Sunday, my cousin died.  Her mother has survived her.  I am so sorry that my aunt is facing life without her eldest daughter.  I’m sorry that we didn’t make it to the funeral.

It wasn’t because we didn’t want to.

But my sister and I had just been to Missouri in April for four days.  It is an 8 hour drive one way.  With Gpa, it’s a little bit longer.  We stayed in a hotel and he thought we were going to leave him there.  We had to write him a note reminding him we were on vacation, in a hotel and would be going home on Monday.

He doesn’t like to drive in the dark and the funeral was at 1 pm on Thursday.  I didn’t have it in me to get up early enough to start on Thursday morning.  I talked to my sister about starting Wednesday afternoon and stopping somewhere in the middle.  I also said that if we went to the funeral, I’d want to stay for the dinner afterwards and visit with relatives.

So that would be two nights in a hotel with Gpa being confused and upset.  Plus 16 hours in the car over 2 days. We couldn’t stay longer as my sister has used up all her vacation time.  She’ll have to wait until August to get more.

When our other aunt passed away a few years ago, we made it to the funeral and back home in 24 hours.  However, Gpa was living independently and as this was Dad’s side of the family, he didn’t come.  And we were younger then.

My sister  received a voice mail from our cousin’s sister stating that we were missed and all the other cousins made it to the funeral.  I’m glad they did, last I knew they all live in Missouri.

Oh, two out of three of my children have let me know that they expect me to out live them.  Thanks a lot.  And if that’s how it turns out, I’m glad they gave me a heads up.

And some days, I think Gpa will out live us all.

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  • Vickie  On June 25, 2012 at 1:21 am

    Yes, we Grieve with the Family. Yes, we will miss our cousin. But sometimes life gives us a rock and a hard place. Now that we are the Elders in the family, we must make the best decisions possible. I think we did just that.

  • Susan Welsh  On June 25, 2012 at 2:30 am

    Sorry you could not make it, but we all understand. Take care!!!

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