A Little Self Care

When a loved one dies, the to-do list shifts.  Gpa had created a book shortly after grandmother died(94).  It had all the information in it  that we would need at the time of his demise.

Um the directive wasn’t enough to keep the paramedics from having to perform CPR.  I felt that since he thought it was a DNR, that should have been respected.  But I didn’t argue,  they were just following the rules they have to follow.  Fortunately, Gpa was already gone.  He would have hated being in the hospital hooked up to machines and tubes and such.

Anyway, Wednesday was filled with going to the funeral home and making last arrangements.  Yesterday, a couple of friends wanted to come over so I only scheduled  to make calls in regards to Gpa.

For me, the house is in such a state of ‘do it later’ as I cared for Gpa that the piles waiting for attention are overwhelming.  I told myself I only had to pick 2.

So the computer chair in my room covered with clothes I can’t wear, and the bedside table that is stacked so high, I would knock my glasses or phone to the floor, were what I had to do.

The computer chair was easy, I got a back and wrote ‘Give Away” on it and put the clothes in it.  There were a couple of items that I thought the girls might like so I set those in Gena’s room.  There was also a Land’s End polo the wrong color/size for me.  I’ve set it aside to see if I can return it for something more suitable.

Last night I started to get hungry and wondered why.  I looked at the clock and it was 5pm.  If Gpa had been here, I would have already been in the kitchen cooking.  So I took a break and ate.

This morning, I put the bed linen in  the washer.  I cannot say when they have been changed.  I know I have but it’s been a few months.  They are drying now and I”ll put them back on the bed.

It is strange to just have myself to look after,  and it’s nice to be getting the piles in order.  Today I’m going to clean off the front table that has become a staging area.

And I’ll make a few more phone calls and maybe make the posters for Sunday.

The best however, has been taking time to visit with friends and family and share stories of Gpa.  Laughter has been ringing in the house.


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  • catterel  On January 18, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    You have been – and still are – an inspiration to me, as I care for my mother (97 in May – we are optimistic that she’ll still be here). She is slow and forgetful, but it’s still my Mom in there and the vascular dementia has not yet progressed too far. Bless you, Laura – now it’s time to look after yourself. I’m so glad you had such a great opportunity to be with your Gpa these last years.

  • letstalkaboutfamily  On January 18, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Laurie, you are an inspiration to a lot of us! One thing I can remind you is that LandsEnd clothing, etc. can ALWAYS be returned, even years after you purchased them. You can take them to your nearest Sears store to return or ship them back to Land End. It is such a convenience! As to the rest (and the clothing too) you are right to take it slow and approach things one day at a time. There is so much to do at a time like this. Take care of yourself and continue to visit with friends. Bless you.

  • Susan Welsh  On January 18, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Laura, I am so sorry to hear about your Grandfather. I hope you and Vickie are doing well. I called Mom to tell her and she said she had just been thinking about you. If you have a service, please let us know what when that will be. Love you, Susan

    • nothousebound  On January 19, 2013 at 3:55 pm

      Here is what we have planned
      We are having a celebration of life come and go potluck on Sunday at the garden if you can come, we would love to see you. Oh and I’m telling people to wear his favorite color, red or their favorite color.

      We’ll be on the pavilion if the weather is nice otherwise we’ll move to the kitchen where he spent many happy hours drinking his and other’s coffee.

      come and go Celebration of Life for Grandpa on Sunday from 3:30-6:30 at
      Our Saviour Episcopal Church
      1616 North Jim MIller Rd
      Dallas, TX 75217

      in lieu of flowers make donations to
      Our Saviour Community Garden
      1616 North Jim MIller Rd
      Dallas, TX 75217

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