Forgive Them, Forgive You

A long time ago,  1991 in fact, I split with my first husband.  It was nasty and messy. I couldn’t live the way we were any longer.

The kids were 2, 4, and 6. I worked hard getting their lives more stable than it had been.  Mine, too.

One of the first things I did was forgive their dad.  I forgave myself as well.

Each time it got crazy, I wiped the slate clean with forgiveness.

It wasn’t until 2005 when he had his first heart attack that my first husband even wanted to be forgiven.

The first time he asked, I told him I forgave him.

But then he kept asking.  Every time we talked, he asked.  I finally told him I had forgiven him a long time ago and he didn’t have to keep asking.

I think he needed to forgive himself. Self forgiveness is as important as forgiving others.

I didn’t forgive him for him way back when in the midst of all the pain and crazy for him.  I did it for me and the kids.  I did it so we could live well.

And we did. And we do.

My prayer for you and yours is a life well lived.



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  • catterel  On July 17, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    You’re absolutely right – sometimes it’s much harder to accept forgiveness from the one you hurt than it is to forgive the one who hurt you. But it’s the first step to reconciliation.

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