Monthly Archives: April 2014

We Are Fine Together

Recently Paul Simon and his wife, singer Edie Brickell, were arrested on a domestic dispute.  Apparently they had an argument and there was something physical like pushing.  Enough physical contact happened that the arrests had to happen.

These kinds of things do happen and I am sorry that their experience had to be made so public.

On one of the trips to California I took Gpa, we had a physical altercation.  No one called the police and no one got arrested. Of that I am glad.  He had gotten up and was wondering the house.  I was tired and wanted him to go back to bed without taking the time to give him a snack.  He felt threatened and punch me in the nose.  Definitely more physical than what was reported above.

I think we were both surprised.  I was so glad I didn’t have my glasses on at the time.   I wasn’t so happy that my son, his wife and their children witnessed the incident.

My then 4 year old grandson, came and told me he didn’t like Gpa anymore because Gpa had hit me.  I told him that Gpa was frustrated and didn’t have the words to tell me he was upset.  I could tell my grandson didn’t believe me that it was ok.  So I told him that sometimes he gets upset with his sisters and hadn’t he hit them?

OH that was a hard thing for him to hear.  What a lesson to learn at 4 years old.  Sometimes we don’t behave as well as we would like and sometimes those we love don’t either.  The question is can we extend grace and get past this incident and move on?

We did, and it sounds like Paul and Edie will as well.  I hope so.

A Volunteer and an Experiment

Last year, I took passion vine from the community garden that had gotten into a plot home.  It was so nice to see the plants and flowers on the fence.

This year as the vine has grown, I see there is a volunteer in between the fence and my new garden area.  I love finding this kind of surprise in the garden.

I’ve been wanting to create a shady area using plants.  I’ve planted snap peas and will string twine from the plant to the eaves of the house.  Maybe even the tomato.

And now, I’ll train this little volunteer to do the same thing.

volunteer passion vine

Doing What You Love

There is a saying that if you do what you love, the money will follow.

OK, so I juggle and play the violin.  The family has been great on being creative, not so much the putting value on that creativity.  That’s where I will be breaking new ground.  Now what?

I’m thinking that I could take some of the time I have devoted to finding a job, to finding a gig.

HMMMM.  Maybe.



32 Tomato Babies

This is the second year I’ve started tomatoes from seed I collected.  I didn’t write down the variety when I collected the seeds because I thought I’d remember by the color of the goo.  I had red, green and purple.   I didn’t think about the goo being gone.

So I know the plants are one of three variety’s anyway.

Just like last year, I thought I’ll just plant a couple and get them started in the window.  Well, the seeds are so little, I keep planting.  I ended up with 32 tomato babies.

I thought what am I going to do with that many plants?  I shouldn’t have fretted.  I gave my daughter 8 for her and her friends.  I planted 8 and lost 7 due to a late freeze.  I planted 3 along my back fence at home and one of the chickens figured out how to get under the chicken wire, the hen sat on one.  I gave 4 more to friends.  And 2 in my new area at home.

OK so maybe 32 tomato babies weren’t too much.

You know what else I like to do?  I like to take the part I pinch off and see if I can propagate that as well.  So I have 6 new tomato babies  to care for in my window.

Spring Time Garden

It was about this time a couple of years ago that I found the community garden.  It is very good to dig in the dirt and watch the plants spring up and grow into food or flowers.  Gives me hope.

I’ve been in a mood lately.  It’s hard searching for a job, going for interviews and then not getting anything!  I’ve applied to jobs I am qualified and ones that are entry level.  Nope, still looking.  Though I have gotten a couple of temporary assignments.

I haven’t spent much time pondering on the mood.  Just been letting it sit there, brooding in the background as I do what I do each day.

But during the plant sale at the garden which coincided with preparing the church for Easter.  I took some time to look at the mood, the things I’ve been focused on and what I can do to move forward.

I feel like a seed that has been given water and sunshine and yet is fighting the resulting change and growth.  A plant doesn’t look anything like a seed.  In fact in many cases, the seed has to split in half and let the seedling sprout up through the middle.  Talk about growing pains.

So as I dig in the garden, and tend the new plants, I’ve been looking at what I like to do best and how I might be able to translate that in to a source of income.  I’ll keep you posted on what I figure out.

Dead People You Can Talk About

We had a rocky Easter.  Lillie hasn’t been processing Gpa’s death and it came to a head on Sunday.

We had a bit of a blow up before Church and she came later.  Then we worked it out on the way to some friend’s house where we had been invited for lunch.

We had a lovely visit.  We talked about Gpa and a few others who are n0 longer with us.  We talked about plans for the year.  But the calm didn’t last long once we got back into the car.

I mentioned a friend of her’s that died when they were in the 6th grade.  We were driving the same way we did the day we went to the friends service.

A few moments later, Lillie says, “I think it’s rude that you talked about my dead friend.”

The conversation escalated quickly.  I had not meant to offend.  We had talked about other dead people and I didn’t say anything bad about her friend.  She couldn’t hear that and all had a turn at yelling.

She got to the point of telling me that I’m the parent and I should parent.  UM, the girls are 25 and 27.  But I heard what she said and I got control of my yelling and told her to stop.

Then I said, “there will be no more negative talk from now until we get home.”

Whew, it is not good when you don’t process your grief.

We all hugged and remembered that we love each other and are doing better now.  Sometimes it takes longer than a year.

I would have to say that we lived the reason for Easter and found a way to extend grace to each other.



One Year Anniversary and Counting

I have had this blog post hanging over my head for several months now.  Gpa died last year in January.  I have been dealing with all sorts of emotions and life events.

I haven’t wanted to talk or write about them.

The first year after a loss of a loved one is hard.  At times it is unbearable, but we bear it anyway.  At times there is surprise there is something to look forward to or laugh at now.  The first year can drag on.  Here comes another holiday or event we used to celebrate but now it’s different.

Then after the first year anniversary of the death, time speeds up.  This year, 2014, will be the 20th anniversary of my mother and grandmother passing away.  20 years! ? ! Where did the time go.  That can’t be possible.

And now for a whole new set of emotions and life events to deal with.  My grandchildren will only know them through pictures and stories.  And they live across the country.  I’m not sure when and where I’ll get to share all the things about these women I’d love for them to know.  And I’m not sure I have the words to convey the very essence of who they were.  After all, a lot of time has passed.

And how does one celebrate the 20th anniversary of the loss of a loved one?