Names I’ve Been Called

When I was in elementary school,  I told my mom I didn’t like the boys because they were mean.  She replied that they were mean because they like me.  I replied, “Well, I wish they wouldn’t like me so much.”

That was when we lived in New Mexico.  In the fifth grade I got new glasses and a boy called me a ‘four-eyed frog’.  Didn’t remember what mom said that it might mean he liked me.  and EWWW.  So I took off my glasses and got called a ‘two-eyed toad’  Weren’t you a clever boy?

Still didn’t make me like you.

And not all males will call you names you hate to let you know they like you.

Gpa had some pet names for me.  None of them made me feel bad about myself.  Some of them I indulged him because it made him so happy.  Funny how a little thing can make a person happy.

The first one I remember is Laurala.  Ok whatever.  Though this one dissipated as I grew up.  It’d be nice to hear him call me this again.

Buttons is an inside joke.  We used to spend hours at the fabric store waiting on mom and Gma.  Once to entertain me, he had us figure out what the words on the walls were backwards.  So you may think it’s cute that a grandpa calls his granddaughter Buttons, but he and I know he’s really calling me Snot Tub.

I spent a week at their house the summer I had my wisdom teeth out. I was 16 and he was restoring furniture at the Blackstone hotel.  I got to help him.  I do know how to paint.  He started calling me Mosella.  Don’t remember why.  I think he met some sisters working there and liked how their names rolled off the tongue. My sister got called the other name.  I don’t recall what it was.  And don’t ask me to ask her.  She’ll likely not remember and bring up the time he slapped me.

And that was a  joke.  It didn’t hurt.  Surprised me mostly and the joke fell flat.

When he didn’t approve of what I just said or did, he’d say, “Now, Laura…”

I wouldn’t mind it if I heard him say that either.

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