Irritating the People I Love

I’m not sure what it is about me that causes those I love to get so irritated/angry.

I know part of it is I am not living up to their expectations of who I should be.  My dad stopped talking to me when I married my second husband because I was making the same mistake.

I would have loved to have a conversation with him about why he thought that.  But it was causing him too much pain to see me making this choice.  However, I knew I wasn’t making the same mistake.  A mistake maybe, but I knew to ask more questions.

Unfortunately my second husband was lying to himself about what he wanted in life, so how could he be honest with me?  So the marriage didn’t last. And maybe Dad thought he was right.  But I learned more.

I have tried being who other people want me to be, but I die inside.  I can’t do if for very long.  It’s not the “I like scrambled eggs” because you like scrambled eggs.  It’s the I love you and want you to be happy changes I make.

And that backfires. So I stop trying so hard and focus on what I like that makes me happy.

Like letting a yard full of sunflowers grow in my backyard. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to come over.  I’ll visit with the birds and bees that are delighted to find such a field of sunshine. byfs

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