Category Archives: Day Care

A Hard Week

Last Monday Gpa fell at Daycare.  It was two hours before they realized he may be hurt.  Any by them he was inconsolable.

Really people, he has dementia, he may not know he is hurt.  So check him out at the time of the fall.

So I got a call.  At first it was come pick him up.  I was across town and the car was in the shop.  So I let them know it would be a couple of hours before I could get there.

But Gpa now aware of his pain could only express it.  So I was called again and asked which hospital.

The one closest to me is the one where the kids dad died. Not the best choice because of old memories, but good in that I knew where everything is.

I would meet him there.

Oh, he was so glad to see me.  He was ready to go, or at least scoot further down the bed.  He was as far as he could go.  I had my job cut out for me to distract him and keep him on the bed.

The x ray guy thought the date of birth was a typo.  Nope, he really is 101. He had to use the portable x ray machine because Gpa was not going to sit still.  Does he ever?

At one point I took off his hat, which is really a cap and saw a goose egg.  I showed it to the doctor and was able to get a cat scan.

Poor Gpa, they had to strap his forehead and his chin down.  I could not reach him, not with my words or by holding his hand.  All he was aware of is something wrong with his neck.

Good news, he had no broken bones and nothing wrong with his head but a sinus infection.  Which explains the falls, I guess.

There were moments while in the hospital that Gpa and I really connected.  Looked at each other in the eyes.  All else fell away.  It did not matter we were in the hospital.  We were together.  And love filled the room.

It is Sunday night and there’s been a few more falls.  I’ve brought the wheel chair in the house.  If he wasn’t before, he is truly a bull in a china shop.  He wheels as fast as he can go forwards and backwards not aware of the chair hanging on other furniture and dragging it around.

I am running on very little sleep and looking forward to day care tomorrow so I can get a really good nap.

Life is cruel.  This slow descent into nothingness.  There is nothing I can do to stop it.  I hate that he will continue to decline until I am relieved that he is gone.  Not just a ‘whew’ glad that is over. But more like a sigh from every fiber in my being that this part of  his and my journey is over.  And I hate that.  I don’t want to get to this point.  But oh, it is there.

And if the kids ever found out I even remotely felt this way, we’d have such a row.  For, “Mother how can you even think that!?!”  Dear, heart, that is just a part of life.  A part of the process of letting go.  And I have been holding on so long and so hard.

And what of these memories we are creating?  They are just a fleeting thing, like a butterfly.  Who knows if I’ll ever choose or have cause to remember  the joy found in the day we hung out at the hospital.

I no longer can say things like, “I’ll remember this always.”  For there is no guarantee that I will.

And tomorrow I’ll start my preparations for Thanksgiving.  And if I take the time, I will find a lot to be thankful for.


Gpa Puppet

When I picked up Gpa from day care they gave me a paper bag puppet they made for him.  Of him.  He was delighted.  He recognized that it was him and said it was a picture of him.  I think the activities director did a good job.  She didn’t.

He also told me that it was me, haha.

I took it to the garden and had the puppet talk to him and say his name is George Snott.  That also got a laugh from him.

gpa puppet

gpa puppet

It Stays the Same as it Changes

We have a new neighbor.  He takes care of his father who has had a stroke.  He said that any information on activities I knew about would be great.  I told him about daycare and will pick up information for him.

I thought maybe we could carpool.  He doesn’t have a vehicle so I told him that the daycare does pick people up.  I don’t use it as I use those days to do errands.

Later I was thinking about carpooling.  The neighborhood mom’s created one when the kids went to junior high.  We lived .2 miles too close for bus service.

And here I am many years later thinking about carpooling again.  The difference is this time I had a caution on how well the other ‘parent’ drives.  I don’t think I ever worried about that when the kids were younger.

Maybe because we had all lived in the neighborhood for years, and I hadn’t heard about speeding tickets or accidents, it was enough.  But was it really?  Must have because the kids are in their 20’s now.


He’s a Good Driver

When I picked up Gpa from day care, he was messing with another attendee.  He and Brent have become good friends and I’m glad. Brent is a young man and has CP.

Gpa was trying to get Brent to bring his wheelchair closer so Gpa could stick his walker in the spokes.  Gpa called me over and told me, “He’s not doing it right.”

“Um, Gpa, he doesn’t have to do that.”

Then Gpa got to telling them I’m hurting him.  Whew, you just never know what you are going to to get when there’s been a stimulating day.

We got into the car and he told me I was going too fast.  “No, the sign there says 40 and I’m going 40. ”

“It’s lying to you.”

Then he told me he was a good driver and gave me a running commentary on how well he was doing.  At one stop light he grabbed the wheel.  I told him not to grab that.  Scary as we were on the way to the highway. Just what I need is him helping me at 60 miles an hour.

I just kept telling him how good he was doing and he didn’t grab after that and for that I am glad.

I may have to see what letting him be a backseat driver does.

A Mitten or a Glove

I put a new pair of gloves on Gpa every day.  Sometimes he can put them on himself no trouble.  Then there are days he gets a couple of fingers in one spot or he tries to put on the opposite hand.  This makes the glove be backwards and the pinkie is awkwardly in the thumb.

When I have to help him put the gloves on, I remember the trouble I had when I was young.  For some reason, I just didn’t get how to put each finger in a separate spot.  This frustrated my mother so, that she got me mittens.  I can tell you I had NO trouble putting the thumb in the little hole and leave the rest of the fingers in the big spot.  My fingers were happier all together.  But it is not easy to play in the snow when you where mittens.

Have no worries, I am not planning on getting Gpa mittens. We do just fine with the gloves.  I don’t mind coaching him once in a while.  And I allow for extra time in getting ready to go out in case he needs it.

He had a great day at day care.  They said he was in a good mood and they made Father’s Day cards.  I bet that brought up lots of good memories.  He always lights up when he talks about his mom and dad.

I’ll have to remember to ask him for some more stories.

Chatty Kathy

Wow Gpa had a great day at the day care today!  When I picked him up, he was talking a lot!  He had a folded up color sheet and told me that I did it.  He had a running commentary on my driving.

Usually he tells me how great the ride is and what a great driver I am but not today.

Today he was watching the signs and telling me if  I was going too fast.  He even told me that I was scaring him by getting to close to the person in front of us.  I was approaching a stop sign, so it was OK that I was that close.

He pointed out when the light was red and when it was green.

One of the signs he tried to tell me was the speed limit, was the number of the highway.  I told him we were on a highway and he pointed to the over passes and said, those were high and we were on the low way.

I’m glad I got got my chores done early and picked him up before there was too much rush hour traffic.

He was very distracting.  Though I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.

He’s been chewing on his jacket and his gloves.  I’m thinking he needs to go to the dentist.  I’ll add that to the list.

A Full Set of Back Up Clothes

I make sure Gpa has a set of clothes at day care in case he needs them.  However, I only bring a shirt, a pair pants and 2 depends.  How dirty can he get?

Well, I should have packed a set of everything he wears.  He got his gloves and jacket soiled and was upset because his hands were cold.

The assistant director told me he had feces all over his gloves (which are dark brown work gloves from Wal-mart) and walker.  I told her I had put a new set on him this morning.  I had gotten 12 from Wal-mart online store.  I guess I was thinking she was saying I brought him that way.  I now think she was telling me to bring a full set of back up clothes.

I also think she’s telling me that they don’t check on him as often as they should.  At home, the only time he get’s feces on his hands is if I have to leave the bathroom to get a new package of wipes.  BOY, have I learned not to leave the bathroom!  Once was enough for me thank you.

And he’s never gotten it all over his walker.  I’ve told them sometimes he isn’t aware that he is going to the bathroom.  I’ve learned that if he shifts or lifts hips off the chair, it’s time to get to the bathroom.

It’s not like they don’t have other people at the daycare that needs extra care.  They all do.  I had to get a note from the doctor to be able to use this daycare.

Gpa was trying to get his hand in his pants pocket when we got in the car. I asked him what he was doing.  He was trying to get his hand in his pocket to warm it up.  So I showed him how to put his hand under his arm.

Gpa was so happy when I gave him a new pair of gloves when we got home.  “Oh, there they are!”

I haven’t looked in the bag.  I’m not ready.  I want to eat dinner first.