Tag Archives: watercolor

What Does Laura Want?

I understand that people want to know what I’m going to do next.

A neighbor asked me what does Laura want.  He asked this after I told him I’ve been doing what I want.

And yet he and other’s want something else.  I’m not sure what.

The wonderful thing about this time with Gpa was we both got to do the things that made us happy.  He liked to go for a ride.  I’d take him to go juggle.

He loved spending time with the kids and would toss a bean bag to them. – bonus

I got my watercolors out and got to get several pictures done.  I haven’t gotten them out since he got sick until tonight.  What a nice way to spend an evening.

I’m creating books for the grandbabies that focus on what Gpa liked.  Below is a grasshopper for the bug book.  Gpa liked to tell people that there is a certain spot on the grasshopper’s leg that if you touched it, the leg would fall off.   This allows the grasshopper to get away from birds.

Now that I’ve gotten my music room set up, I’ve been playing daily.

But saying that I want to paint, play music and juggle isn’t what people want to hear.

I’m not sure what they want me to say.

Maybe that I’m happy. I’m sad that Gpa is gone. I miss him.  But I have all these wonderful memories that I get to remember when I paint, play music and juggle.

My hope and prayer for you is that you find what makes you happy and that you allow yourself to do it/be it.

grasshopper

A Promise to Keep

The home health care nurse told me that Gpa was wanting to know that I would be OK if he leaves, that I would keep doing the music, painting and juggling.  When I did tell him, it felt like a promise.  Oh, Oh.

I had mixed feelings about telling Gpa something of the sort.  It meant he’d be closer to leaving, I am still not sure about him not being here.  But I don’t have a choice in it.  Death is as irrevocable as cremation.  Since he has done both, it’s twice as much a done deal.

It is important to me to keep the promise for by keeping it, I’ll be honoring him and the love we shared.  The bond between a grandchild and grandparent can be very strong.  And in our case, very special.
 So Wednesday I did something that felt very crazy but very right.  I had found a seminar on the steps after making a record.  Since the band is recording our first three songs on Monday, I thought it would be fitting.
It was in Houston. That’s OK, I have a friend I haven’t seen in a while, I could stay with her.  But she didn’t get back with me and I had already paid for it.  So I got up early, real early and drove down.  When it was over, I drove home.  That was the crazy part.
The workshop was awesome.  I learned so much, took lots of notes and met a lot of great people.  And the workshop has given me a lot of action items.  Lots of ways to keep my promise.  And something to keep me busy until I see Gpa again.

My Daily Bucket List

Even though I have responsibilities to take care of Gpa, it doesn’t have to keep me from having my plans and goals.

Currently the top of my list is a good night’s sleep.  When that doesn’t happen,  a nap is a good second.

His bucket list is complementary to mine.  He wants to go for a ride.  I want to go to the garden or to juggling class.  Great fit.

I also take him to an adult day care so I can get errands and chores done.  I also use that time to go to a Bible Study, paint watercolor pictures uninterrupted, and voice lessons.

We both enjoy our time apart and enjoy each other more when we are reunited.

I don’t feel like I’ve really made that much of a sacrifice.  We are both very blessed.

I don’t like to think about the next stage in dementia, no need to borrow trouble.  We’ll deal with what comes next when it gets here.

and hang out together and have a cup of coffee.